I Cried

November 10, 2016November 10, 2016Leave a comment

On Tuesday, November 8th, 2016 at 11pm I cried.

I don’t like to cry— who does I suppose? But, further than that I don’t often let myself cry anymore. I’m not sure yet if this is a positive quality or not, but regardless it speaks to the magnitude of that evening. My body was tense, my heart pounding and as someone who has had several major panic attacks in the past I felt it rushing towards me like a train. I began breathing exercises and closed my eyes. When I finally opened them, there they were: tears. Inconspicuous at first, unsure of themselves and hesitant. Then I felt myself surrender to them— the rush of weight leaving your shoulders and the bittersweetness of crying honestly when no one else is near. I cried until my eyes were swollen, until my supply had run out, until my body was exhausted, until my heart picked itself up again and reminded me that there is work to be done now. So cry. Cry for what we potentially lost on election night, for the struggles to come, for our people who are bullied and targeted, for our environment. Get it all out now because ladies and gentlemen the next four years will require our strength, solidarity, love, and our will to fight— and that starts now. No change is immediate, so we must persevere.

When you protest do it peacefully and with poise. When you engage in discussions do it strongly, but without degradation. When you are confused, use meditation. When you are weary, find your strength in those around you— we will hold each other up. Darlings, this is not naive hope; this is not youthful misunderstanding. This, is the continuation of a beautiful revolution in the world around us.
I urge you to decide to be well-educated and not use social media as a sole source of information. I urge you to project Love & Light into this world with all that you do. I urge you to feel the world around you within your soul. I urge you to create networks of those you trust if times get bad. Have empathy, give kindness freely, do not be discouraged by the hate around you, and stand up. We all have our parts to give, from those in the streets with signs- to those donating money- to those using their knowledge for good.

I am not afraid of Donald Trump & you shouldn’t be either. I am, however, concerned that his rhetoric has given encouragement and confidence to the wrong people. No, it’s not about him “hurting my feelings”– that he has not done, because I will not allow it. I don’t need to rant about his unconscionable actions & beliefs– we all know it, even if some choose to turn a blind eye. Together we are strong and because of passion in our hearts we are stronger than they can ever hope to be. To those of you in the past few days who have already experienced destruction, name-calling, physical violence– I am so sorry. So very sorry and I want you to know you have so innumerable allies who will continue to help you fight these injustices. Love trumps Hate.

Stand up for your friends, co-workers, strangers and future generations. Things are not yet at their worst, and if we begin now they won’t get there, but we have to make a change. I want you to know that the rights violations being proposed will not stand because WE will not allow them. Do not be fearful, be active.

Love & Light,

-S

Sixteen Yr Old Me in the Crowd

March 16, 2016March 16, 20161 Comment

16 year old Sydney

One of the first shows I ever went to was actually a Set It Off show— when I was in high school. It was when they were first starting out and at a small venue in our hometown. I was just a 16-year-old girl in her vans and her favorite T-shirt jumping around with her friends. You could feel the atmosphere around you hang heavy with the weight of our youth and our whole lives ahead of us. The future was unknown, but all that mattered was feeling the music and mentally escaping for the night. I remember us holding each other close and screaming the lyrics back with giant smiles on our faces. There is no better feeling than bonding with a crowd of people and letting go. I think so many people forget what that is like as they get older or especially when they start dating someone in the music industry.

I love watching Set It Off play & am so proud of them. Seeing my love and my friends up there doing what they love—and doing it so well— always makes me so happy. Seeing the crowd line up outside the venue for hours rain or shine and showing me all their tattoos and laughing— bringing people together— its a wonderful feeling. I attend a lot of shows with Dan and also tour with them in general, but I rarely go out into the crowd and usually watch from side-stage because it’s easier & I’m normally alone.

At the Orlando show on the Fight for Something Tour I decided to stand in the crowd with my girlfriends rather than stand side-stage like we usually do. As I was standing there with my best friend Crystal— singing every word, falling over laughing, jumping around and having such a wonderful time— it reminded me of why I first started going to shows and brought back so many memories. It was honestly very sentimental for me because we had friends and family there and here I am getting reminded of something that used to be so important to my sanity. When I heard Dan over the mic mention me, my heart stopped and I thought, “Dear Universe, thank you for giving me what I never knew I was asking for all this time. Thank you for giving me the gift of this man who brings such love and music to my life every single day. And thank you for putting me in this crowd to remind me of who I am.” I realized halfway through the show as I looked down at my feet and saw my dirty black vans:: that no matter where life takes us I am proud to still be that girl in the crowd who can let loose and let the music lift me up. We live in a world that is constantly trying to tell us what is supposed to be important & as we grow up we start to listen– make time to clear your head and find what lifts you up . Things have changed and I know they are only going to keep changing, but it’s important to remember who you are. I never in a million years expected to be on this insane journey with Dan, but here we are. Life is not easy and there is no way to tell what is coming next, but staying grounded is the only way to make it through successfully.

I really love all of you that come to the shows and are always so kind & wonderful when you see me— I really appreciate it– it’s so uplifting to meet you and feel your support for the guys. I get a lot of messages on Facebook or Instagram saying that some of you see me at shows and wanted to say hi or take a picture, but didn’t know if I would care or be annoyed. Honestly, I love meeting you guys and taking pictures. To those of you that I saw in the crowd on Saturday: Thanks for letting me jump around, sing, and be uplifted along-side you— see you next time!

Every Month

March 3, 2016March 3, 2016Leave a comment

Cramps As I was laying in bed crying and on the verge of selling my soul to escape the pain….I realized I’m probably not the only one who experiences this. One- because it would be really ridiculous to assume I’m the only person in the world who feel this & Two- because I also know from my education that this type of cruel agony is actually a medical condition. I realized pretty quickly this should be my next blog post.

Now, even if you don’t have these symptoms to this extreme or even often, we can all benefit from a little girl knowledge about our bodies and how to feel better…because…who doesn’t like to feel better?

Solutions:

–Heat! Menstrual cramps are usually caused when the uterus contracts (to help shed the lining) and the blood vessels in the uterus become constricted. Heat is believed to open up blood vessels & relax the muscles to help relieve pain in general and this time is no exception. Heat has also been shown in studies to block the effect of the chemical messengers that alert the body to pain. Using a heating pad on your lower abdomen, right below your belly button is a great way to relieve the pain especially at night while trying to fall asleep and it’s my go to. Taking a hot bath or shower is also a great option.

–Over the counter meds! For the best chance of relieving your pain choose medicines that container-advil-tablets-62422860 contain Ibuprofen (Advil, Motrin, etc). Ibuprofen is an example of an NSAID medication (NonSteroidal Anti-Inflammatory Drugs) that works by blocking the inflammatory reactions that cause cramps. It works best if you begin taking it as soon as you start to feel symptoms coming on, rather than waiting for it to get worse.

–Cut back on caffeine! Caffeine is a vasoconstrictor- it constricts blood vessels and raises tension levels. Instead of drinking coffee try herbal teas with low caffeine levels. Herbal teas can also help relieve pain and relax the body. One of my personal favorites is the Blueberry SlimLife green tea by Yogi Teas….plus they have cute little quotes on every tea bag— which of course you know I love. Make sure to also get plenty of water, because it will help prevent acne, bloating, and help your body run more efficiently.

–EAT…well! Try your best not to give in to bad food cravings…I know, it’s hard. If you’re like me and love chocolate, try eating dark chocolate instead. It will help relax your body, satisfy the craving and keep you happy. Grab a banana as a snack to help reduce bloating and assist with reducing painful symptoms. Spinach and other dark green veggies are also superfoods to help relieve cramps and make sure you’re getting all the vitamins you need.

–Endorphins! These little babies are our bodies own way of fighting stress, relieving pain, and enhancing pleasure. Endorphins work by interacting with receptors in our brain to reduce our body’s perception of pain and cause feelings of happiness. They work similarly to drugs as strong as morphine, but are all natural and don’t lead to negative dependance the way drugs can. So how can you get Endorphins? Eating dark chocolate, eating spicy foods with cayenne or jalapeño peppers, ginseng consumption, and laughing (yes laughing, so Netflix those comedy specials girl) can all release endorphins. You can also get a nice boost of endorphins by exercising (even basic movements like walking, swimming, or yoga). One common recommended way to relax and get a boost is to have an orgasm. Yep, I said it. Whether with your partner or by yourself, having an orgasm can give you that rush of endorphins needed to help manage your pain symptoms (practice safety ladies!).

More To Offer

February 23, 2016Leave a comment

bod·y im·age

noun

the subjective picture or mental image of one’s own body.

“Approximately 91% of women are unhappy with their bodies.”

When sitting own to write this blog post, as I began really thinking and considering viewpoints, I became very torn on the subject. On one hand I am a firm believer that we should be trying to break the rules that have us, as women, thinking our looks are the most important thing we have to offer— on the other hand, it’s hard to ignore the fact that negative body image is a prevalent issue. I’m going to focus this post on overall body image and feeling good about yourself. But I want to go on record first to say::

Inside each of you is something so much more important than what you see in the mirror. Inside each of you is a beautiful miracle in and of itself. Your capabilities to be a thinking, hard working, kind, hopeful, learning, emotional being that impacts this world are so far above and so much more valid to define you than the size of your waist. That is what makes you beautiful.

After the incident last year the positive body image I hard worked so hard to achieve took a dive. I began to see my body as a dirty or inappropriate thing and no longer felt like my confident self. I stopped caring about my health. I didn’t feel beautiful or sexy because I didn’t feel like I deserved to & that my previous confidence somehow made the incident my fault. I began to hate my body and that’s wrong. Our bodies are beautiful amazing things, especially as women. As someone whose college degree focused heavily on science, even without talking about aesthetics or physical looks— the female body is an amazing thing. We are beautiful inside and out and until we begin to truly believe that we will not be happy. With the help from my significant other and meditation I am starting to be back to my old self and refusing to be ashamed of my body because of someone else’s misconduct. Loving yourself and your body is a daily choice and it’s worth it. People always say to choose your battles wisely and this battle is worth fighting.

We cannot change the world over-night. But we CAN change our outlook and refuse to internalize these negative feelings about our bodies. We are all guilty of focusing on the physical traits about ourselves that we dislike or letting others make us feel badly, every single one of us. So my take on body image is this: there will always be negative things out there— people preying on our deepest insecurities & ready to point them out– so why do we do it for them? Let’s project out enough love, enough kindness, enough joy, enough acceptance— that it comes right back to us. At the end of the day happiness is an internal journey, not a result of our surroundings.

I want to encourage you to pause reading this and do the following::

Look in the mirror or selfie camera from your phone.
Find 3 things about yourself that you love. Three positive things and make one of them not something about your looks. Be honest and don’t try to just get it over with. Really consider yourself and then compliment yourself on these three things.

For some people this may be very easy, but for others it may have been a bit of a challenge. Keeping that in mind I want you to consider how often you genuinely give compliments. How often do you honestly and sincerely compliment yourself, friends and family on positive traits? I am of the belief that kindness and love are contagious. There are a lot of negative things in this world and we should get in the habit of counteracting those negative experiences any way we can— spreading love and giving thanks is a start. The mantra is simple, Love & Light, but the daily practice can be hard— so here’s a little help…

Alright, Love & Light Challenge, time to help uplift!

My Daily Alarms

I want you to set a new silent daily repeating alarm on your phone (so you’ll get the notification, but not the sounds) for about 3 hours into your daily routine. This alarm title should be “Compliment.” Whenever this alarm goes off during your day I want you to stop and give a fellow woman nearby a genuine compliment— it can be about anything— and then give yourself one too! I also want you to set a second silent daily repeating alarm (towards the end of your day, maybe near dinner time) with the instructions “Thank You”. When this alarm goes off I want you to verbally give thanks for something. You can tell your mom thanks for cooking. You can say I’m really thankful that I passed my math test today. Literally anything you are thankful for that day— but make it genuine and make sure you verbalize it to someone else. These two simple actions will help you form positive habits that help ensure you don’t become focused on negative feelings— I know it helps me.

I really want to make Love & Light challenges a consistent thing. I want to make them spontaneous, random, uplifting and fun— so make sure to follow me on snapchat to stay in the loop:: Sydney4065. We can make this world a better place and it all starts right here. You can always message me anonymously through the Wondr App if you need some extra motivation.
Remember— there is so much more to you than what the world expects you to look like— positive body image happens when you stop focusing so much on trying to be something you’re not and focus on loving yourself & who you are. At the end of your days it won’t be how “perfect” you were that matters. It will be the things you experienced, the lives you positively affected, and the love you gave that matters. Laugh with friends, read a good book, enjoy the sun on your face, eat good food, and get some exercise so you can stick around on this Earth as long as possible. Stop worrying about being thin or looking like your favorite celebrity and instead make health your goal— mind and body both.