I Cried

On Tuesday, November 8th, 2016 at 11pm I cried.

I don’t like to cry— who does I suppose? But, further than that I don’t often let myself cry anymore. I’m not sure yet if this is a positive quality or not, but regardless it speaks to the magnitude of that evening. My body was tense, my heart pounding and as someone who has had several major panic attacks in the past I felt it rushing towards me like a train. I began breathing exercises and closed my eyes. When I finally opened them, there they were: tears. Inconspicuous at first, unsure of themselves and hesitant. Then I felt myself surrender to them— the rush of weight leaving your shoulders and the bittersweetness of crying honestly when no one else is near. I cried until my eyes were swollen, until my supply had run out, until my body was exhausted, until my heart picked itself up again and reminded me that there is work to be done now. So cry. Cry for what we potentially lost on election night, for the struggles to come, for our people who are bullied and targeted, for our environment. Get it all out now because ladies and gentlemen the next four years will require our strength, solidarity, love, and our will to fight— and that starts now. No change is immediate, so we must persevere.

When you protest do it peacefully and with poise. When you engage in discussions do it strongly, but without degradation. When you are confused, use meditation. When you are weary, find your strength in those around you— we will hold each other up. Darlings, this is not naive hope; this is not youthful misunderstanding. This, is the continuation of a beautiful revolution in the world around us.
I urge you to decide to be well-educated and not use social media as a sole source of information. I urge you to project Love & Light into this world with all that you do. I urge you to feel the world around you within your soul. I urge you to create networks of those you trust if times get bad. Have empathy, give kindness freely, do not be discouraged by the hate around you, and stand up. We all have our parts to give, from those in the streets with signs- to those donating money- to those using their knowledge for good.

screen-shot-2016-11-09-at-7-29-47-pmI am not afraid of Donald Trump & you shouldn’t be either. I am, however, concerned that his rhetoric has given encouragement  and confidence to the wrong people. No, it’s not about him “hurting my feelings”– that he has not done, because I will not allow it. I don’t need to rant about his unconscionable actions & beliefs– we all know it, even if some choose to turn a blind eye. Together we are strong and because of passion in our hearts we are stronger than they can ever hope to be. To those of you in the past few days who have already experienced destruction, name-calling, physical violence– I am so sorry. So very sorry and I want you to know you have so innumerable allies who will continue to help you fight these injustices. Love trumps Hate.

Stand up for your friends, co-workers, strangers and future generations.  Things are not yet at their worst, and if we begin now they won’t get there, but we have to make a change. I want you to know that the rights violations being proposed will not stand because WE will not allow them. Do not be fearful, be active.

Love & Light,


Welcome to Los Angeles

For months I’ve been anticipating this move. Before we left for tour Dan and I sold  all our furniture, donated everything except for just a few boxes to Goodwill, and packed sentimental momtextitems and clothes away in preparation for when tour was over. My free time on tour was spent looking at houses on the computer, looking at new cars, discussing options with the guys and getting so excited to decorate our new place in LA. After tour,
we stayed in LA for a week to look at homes, cars, and locations. We fell even more in love with LA and the excitement built more. This past week in FL saying goodbye to our families and friends was bittersweet, but we were still ready to get back to LA. Now— as I sit here in the truck packed in next to the boxes, I find myself immediately feeling emotional— LITERALLY only 2 minutes after driving away. Staring out the window I feel tiny tears run silently down my cheeks. One at a time, then faster and faster until I’m pretty positive my eyes are now red and my makeup ruined. Thank the Universe for big sunglasses.

planeDon’t get me wrong— I am still SO incredibly anxious to get to LA and start this new adventure. Although I’ve spent so much time away from home traveling and branching out— I was always coming back to Florida, near our family, after however long. Now, this is different. This isn’t a trip, this is our new home. This is where our belongings stay when everyone is gone. This is where our car and bills and driver licenses point to. This is where we will be starting a whole new chapter.

Mom & Dad: Thank you for everything you’ve done.
momanddadThank you for your love & support over the years and especially these last few months while we have been gone on tour. Mom, I’m so proud of you for staying strong during chemo and radiation this summer. You’re so beautiful inside and out & words cannot express how thankful I am that you’re a fighter. I cannot wait to share these coming adventures with you— I promise I’ll call. Dad, Thank you for taking care of mom every day, but especially while I was gone. The love and strength you have given her during all of this does not go unnoticed.

Dan and I are opening our arms to life and keeping our faces tilted to the sun. This will not always be easy, but I believe it will be worth it and I’m so thankful we have each other to lean on. To all our friends in LA who have helped us move and find a place and of course put up with us— you’re all so very much appreciated— moving across the country is….hard. The page is officially turned: Here we go Cali! Time to make some memories….

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